Love in Music Read online

  When I showed up at his place he had his head in his hands looking defeated. “Arashi?” I kept my tone soft. I knew that look he had. It was the look of somebody who saw a mess with no hope of repair. The look of somebody who had spent far too much money on a product they now couldn’t use.

  “They won’t even fix it. They don’t care that I won’t pay them the rest until it’s right. They’ve taken the money and scrammed. I can’t even get an answer on the phone now. I used them because they were recommended. Ten grand down the drain. Now I’m going to have to find somebody else and start all over again. Worse, I can’t even get the old site up and this thing,” he pointed at the computer screen, “is not doing my business any good.”

  I looked at the screen and saw the problem. Pictures were floating in places they shouldn’t have been, text was garbled, codes hadn’t been closed properly so things that shouldn’t have been in headline format were—and that meant some things in the middle of a sentence were too. I shook my head. Fixing that mess would not be a joy.

  I walked over and placed my hand on his shoulder. “Okay, you have two options. I can sit here and try to find every broken code and every botched code. Or I can give you something new. The first will take weeks, if not months. The second I can get something done for you by morning, but we’ll have to tweak it to fit whatever specifics you want slowly. I have clients that need me too.”

  “I’ll pay you.”

  “No you won’t. And this time,” I said this while holding up my hand. “I won’t take no for an answer. Move over” I urged him to get out the chair and go find another. “I’m going to take your site down. I would rather your visitors get a “check back later” page than this fiasco. And, Arashi, I urge you to sue their pants off.”

  “Thanks, Topaz. God, thank you so much.”

  “Time to work my magic with option?”

  “We trash it, you build it.”

  “That’s what I thought. I’m also changing out your codes and passwords because they have those and I’d hate for them to do anything to your site.”

  He nodded his understanding. My first task was taking down the mess and putting up a temporary page. I still had his logo on a USB so I put it on the page so it wouldn’t look too generic while I worked on the new site. My second task was to change his FTP access. For the host he used that basically amounted to changing his access password so that was quick. I had to get his old password, which he seemed nervous to give me. I told him to type it in and I wouldn’t look. Once he did that I had him type in the new password while I wasn’t looking. My third task was getting started with trying to build the site from scratch. I knew then that it was going to be a long night—very long.

  When I’m being creative I love to listen to music. So I pulled out my MP3 and headphones and got started with my work. Of course Arashi didn’t seem really happy about being excluded. He leaned closer to me trying to hear what I was listening to. I guess he got tired of straining his ears because he pulled the headphone away from my ear and leaned closer. Of course the tugging made me lean closer to him.

  “I can’t work like this,” I laughed. As nice as it was being close to him I really couldn’t work while leaning halfway out the chair.

  “I have an idea,” he said as he pulled my headphones off completely. I turned off the device and watched him go over to some equipment in the corner and then I heard the music. It was really good. I could feel the passion just sitting there listening.

  “Wow. I like that.”

  “It’s some of my work.”

  “You wrote that?”

  He nodded. “I played it too.”

  “Wow.” I knew he both wrote and played music, but I hadn’t actually heard anything in detail. When Tanaka was in studio and I was there she wanted to play her pieces and record them first so I didn’t get a chance to hear any of Arashi’s pieces. Hina talked about him a lot, but she didn’t play a lot of music when we were together. I know she liked music, but I think she just didn’t live and breathe it like we do.

  I looked over at Arashi and smiled. “That’s really good.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Could you make me a copy? I could play this while I work, workout, drive, shoot pictures—”

  “Naked?” He grinned deviously.

  I was sure I was blushing by now. “Maybe,” I said bashfully before smiling. “Yes.”

  “Hmm,” he groaned. “I’ll burn you two full sets if I get to see the pictures.”

  “You’re so easy,” I nodded my agreement. I wanted to tell him I’d let him see the pictures if he’d take his shirt off and model with me, but I couldn’t say that. I wanted him to do it. He has a great body and he’s the only guy I’d feel comfortable doing that kind of shoot with but I couldn’t make my lips form the words to ask.

  I could stare at him all day and fall in love with him and his music and that scared me because I couldn’t love this guy. His mother might be nice to me now, but she made it clear from day one that I was not to be a staple in her son’s life. Besides, music was really the only thing he and I had in common. We both loved it more than average and that’s all. Okay, maybe that wasn’t all, but still, we couldn’t be more than friends. Plus, I had a date planned for the next day anyway. This guy is nice. He’s a firefighter. Typically I avoid guys in high risk jobs, but we met at the market and he approached with a respectful confidence that was hard to ignore. I realized when he asked me out that it was time to really get back out there and date; plus the package enticed me to want to go out with him. By package I’m talking his outer shell. He’s gorgeous. He has those beautiful blue eyes that I love, blond hair—I can get past that. I typically like black hair or something dark like it. He’s also tall and I like tall guys. He’s in shape, so that’s another plus. He made me laugh on our first meeting, which is attractive too. So getting to know him could lead to something more.

  I thought Arashi would leave the room at some point and spend time with his sister, and his parents who were back up in San Francisco. I noticed they came a lot, but I figured that was because they were all really close. I wondered how it would have been if my parents had shared a strong love for each other. I love them both, but even as a kid I could see the problems in their relationship. Add to that the fact that my siblings had their head up their own butt and I could honestly say I wasn’t sure I believed in familial love—not that storybook kind anyway. And then I met Hina and I saw that even with some problems their family seemed close, loved, and their parents were in love. I couldn’t miss that. I wanted that for myself one day. God it sucked realizing I wanted something I might not ever have. It wasn’t as if I was getting any younger.

  I kicked the thoughts out of my head because I was working and having Arashi sitting nearly on top of me was distracting enough. Once I completely focused on my work completely it was like I stepped through the portal and the rest of the world faded before me. I hadn’t even realized Arashi had fallen asleep on the small couch in the corner. I’m not even sure how the man fit on there comfortably but he seemed to be doing just fine.

  He had brought me water, tea, juice, whatever I needed while I worked. He had tried to get me to stop for dinner but I was in a groove so he brought me what he called a snack. It was really something like cheese and crackers and fruit, something I could eat while I worked, but I still appreciated his thinking of me.

  I worked through the night until I at least got his site operational, professional and still artistically beautiful. It wasn’t as perfect as I wanted it but it would do until I could make additional changes. I didn’t even realize the time until Arashi awakened, and I smelled breakfast cooking too.

  “Have you been up all night?” Arashi stretched his arms over his head as he stood up.

  “I wanted to get this done for you. I uploaded it so I hope you like it. We can tweak it as we go.” I pulled his site up so he could see the live view. I was glad he still had all of his design programming and that I had t
he logo and other graphic arts on a USB with me.

  “Before I go I’ll show you how to make changes in design mode. I know you already know some of this and the code is expertly put together.” I smiled with pride in my work. “It should be easy to maintain, and I’ll help you whenever I can. I have a few logo designs to do.” Those designs were going to take a lot of work. I yawned and my eyes watered.

  “You should have gotten some sleep. My bed is open to you, anytime.”

  I shrugged. I worked like this at home—well no, usually I would work from about three in the morning until no later than ten at night. This was an all nighter first for me.

  “Get some sleep, Topaz.”

  “No, I’m going to show you what you’ll…” I yawned again, “have to do and then I’m…” I yawned and my eyes started leaking more water, “I’m going home.” More yawning followed that.

  “Yeah, sure.” Arashi got up marched over to my little XO purse and grabbed my keys, unhooking the carabiner that held them on the XO silver loop. His feet carried him out the room. I got up, swiftly slipped my shoes on, and I went after him.

  I watched as Arashi pulled the ignition key off the key ring.

  “Arashi,” I huffed. “Give me my keys.”

  His family sat at the breakfast bar watching. “Go get some sleep, Topaz.”

  “Oh he is right,” Akio said. “You have been up all night, all morning too. It won’t be safe for you to drive home. It’s too far when you haven’t slept.”

  “I’m going home. I have work to do and—Arashi!” I watched as my car key drifted to the bottom of the fish tank. That tank was not there when I got here yesterday, but it was now. Fine, I could get my own key.

  I marched over, ready to get my key and Arashi caught hold of my wrist and stopped me. I glared up at him.

  “My father thought piranha would be a nice addition to this home. I don’t agree, but perhaps they are useful.”

  I pulled my wrist free and placed my hand over my stomach. Okay, so maybe I wouldn’t be getting my key back with my bare hands.

  “Now,” he placed one hand on my upper arm. “You go sleep in my bed and once you’re rested I’ll get your key out of there. And father will take these fish elsewhere.”

  His father laughed. “Ah, I was hoping you would say that. Your mother said if you didn’t want them I could keep them. He doesn’t want them, Natsumi. Therefore I am taking them back to San Diego with us.” He laughed as if he knew that was going to happen and Natsumi rolled her eyes.

  Arashi looked at me so seriously yet there was something sweet and soft about his gaze. I could see his concern for me. “I’ll get it out, but I won’t do it before you sleep. Come on.” He moved his hand to my lower back and guided me toward his bedroom. “You sleep now. We will keep the noise down as much as possible.”

  I could have kept fighting him on this, but I really was tired. While I didn’t live super far away it was far enough that if I didn’t get some sleep first I could run the risk of falling asleep in the car while driving.

  I slipped off my shoes, watching as Arashi turned the covers back for me.

  “I changed these yesterday so you have clean sheets.” He nodded toward me as I removed the sweater I had put on too. I crawled into his bed, placed my head on his pillow and fell asleep, but not before realizing that he had pulled the covers over me before he left me alone in his bed.

  Chapter Five

  I watched her, after my parents left for their day out and my sister made a run to the spa for business, I watched Topaz sleep. I hadn’t meant to do it. I went to take my shower. I took it, got my clothes and then she was laying right there in my bed, smelling sweet and tempting, looking peaceful and beautiful and all I could do was stand there and look at her. I leaned against the wall and watched every breath. I remembered holding her while she slept in her own bed. I remembered how good she felt in my arms. And in that moment I could no longer deny I wanted her. I didn’t deserve her, but I wanted her.

  I wasn’t sure how long I stood there and watched her, but it felt like forever. And even though I had business to conduct, music to mix, recordings to finalize, all I wanted to do was stand there and watch her breathe.

  I heard my sister tinkering with the front door and that was the only thing that made me move away from where I was standing. That was the only thing that sent me to my music room swiftly and quietly. I looked busy when Hina came back to see me. I made sure I looked busy.

  “How is she?”

  “She’s still sleeping,” I said.

  “She is going to be so angry with you when you give her the key back,” she chuckled as if she found humor in my predicament.

  “I already put it on her keychain.”

  She nodded. “Good, thanks for looking out for her. I’d hate to lose my best friend because she was too sleepy to avoid driving off the Golden Gate.”

  Yeah, I would hate to lose her for that reason too. I would hate to lose her at all. I didn’t know when it had happened or how, but my feelings for her, for women, they changed. Until her I hadn’t cared much about the few women I dated and left behind. To me they were expendable just as Angela had made me expendable. But from the moment Hina started talking to me about Topaz I knew she wasn’t expendable. That thought had kept me from even thinking of having her. And then there was that night, that night when I went for her and she cried in my arms. My heart had broken for her—maybe because I knew exactly what it felt like to be broken too. Maybe that’s when it happened. Maybe being there for her, working with her, showed me that I wanted more than what I allowed myself and she was the perfect woman for me to have that something more with. If I deserved her, if I could only have a fraction of feeling worthy of her, I wouldn’t hesitate. My sister’s friend or not I wouldn’t hesitate to claim this woman. But I didn’t deserve her and I knew that.

  I heard Topaz rustling around. I knew she was up and probably either about to yell at me or hit me, but when she walked into the studio she surprised me by not doing either. I guess she surprised Hina too judging from that puzzled expression on her face.

  “Thanks for letting me use your bed, Arashi. I made it back up for you.”

  I nodded because it was the only thing I could do.

  “And thanks for putting my key back where you got it from.” She gave me a comical smirk that had me relaxing my shoulders. I hadn’t realized how tensed with anticipation they were until they fell to what some would call an at ease position.

  “I have to go. I’m going to be late and I do want to go home, get showered and changed first. I’ll call you later about your site. I just have so much work to do on this logo design for the Intrepid Sports brand. Can you believe I snagged that contract?” She laughed with glee.

  “They would have been crazy not to have you do it,” I said this because I meant it. Intrepid Sports was one of the largest sporting product makers and distributors in California, and they were stationed right here in San Francisco. Had I known she had a meeting with them I would have pulled her away from the computer before I fell asleep on the couch.

  I saw her out to her car and watched her leave. I went back to work on my own projects until Hina came back in nearly an hour later and sat down beside me. She sighed heavily.

  “What’s wrong, sis?” I stopped what I was doing and turned my attention toward her. “Is somebody messing with you? You know I can take care of that.”

  “I know, but no.” She shook her head. “I just…she has a date.”

  “Who has a date?”

  “Topaz. That’s where she’s going—to Gilino’s for lunch with the new guy. I was kind of hoping you and she would end up together. Two of my best friends, my brother making Topaz my sister…I guess it was just wishful thinking. I’m a little sad that’s all.”

  She was sad and I was angry. I watched Hina sulk out of my office while I sat there nearly steaming over the fact that my woman was off with another man. Wait, she wasn’t mine. I hadn’t made
her mine. He couldn’t have her. Once I set my mind to that I knew what I had to do. I grabbed my keys, told my sister I was going out and I left for Gilino’s.

  There was no way I was letting this guy claim her heart. By this point I knew Topaz was ready to move on. I had said I wanted her to be happy. I had wanted her to get past Jace. But seeing the look of worry in Hina’s eyes I knew she must have known something I didn’t know. If my sister worried there would be no chance that Topaz and I would get together because of this guy then I was worried too. Hina had a sense about these things. She knew Angela and I were going to fall apart before I even caught Angela sharing another man’s bed. No, I couldn’t have Topaz moving on with a possible marriage material type guy.

  I pulled into a park. I could see Topaz and this guy sitting at a table for two near the window. This guy was wearing a fire department t-shirt, sporting blond hair from what I could tell, broad shoulders, broader than mine, and a smile on his face that seemed to be sparking up my woman’s eyes. I didn’t like it at all.